Today, I want to do something a bit different for my Monday Mention segment, because something has been weighing on my mind, and I would love your insight.
As you ponder my questions, you might consider a few inspirations for my train of thought, which I hope can double as my shout-out today, for they are truly inspirational:
- God of Affliction — A Post by Precious One of Imago Dei
- Smile — A Post by Deborah Marie of Great Is God’s Faithfulness
- A Swing — A Poem by C.D. Anders of The Unnecessary Blog
- The Secret Ingredient to Overcoming Fear and Embracing Joy — A Post by Carly Newberg of Believing Beautiful
- O’ Lord — A Song by Lauren Daigle
Fighting My Greatest Fear
For the first 5 years of my marriage, I prayed nearly every night that God would let my husband and I die together — preferably of old age, holding hands like the cute couple in The Notebook.
I almost feel like I have it too good, like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I’m not sure why, but I’ve always struggled with bouts of separation anxiety like this. I used to eagerly await Mom and Dad with the babysitter, sincerely afraid they would wreck in traffic one day and not come home.
In fact, all of my friends can attest that I’m largely a homebody, and I think this is why💡.
I feel like pieces of my heart go with my loved ones wherever they are. I want to be with them, and make the most of the time I have with them.
If I’m honest, I also want to ensure that I’m included in the party should a horrible accident occur…
I don’t fear death.
I fear loss, and being left behind.
A New Prayer
When I began my journey of self-discovery, my prayer started to change:
Please, God, make me equal
to the adversity
I will face in this life.
If I lose them,
give me resilience,
and faith to go on.
Help me find meaning
though I cherish them
with all of my heart.
It’s new ground for me, and I keep telling God, I’m not ready yet. I wonder if I will ever be. But I want to live in faith, not fear.
So, I have two questions to pose to you, dear reader:
#1: How do you, personally, develop resiliency?
I have one answer to this myself: gratitude and presence. If we are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, we miss so much.
My dietitian taught me recently that body positivity and self-love often get confused with loving every part of yourself; in reality, it’s about recognizing that, while there may be things you don’t like about yourself, there are also things that you love, or things to be grateful for.
True body positivity is about acknowledging each of these, and respecting your body as a whole.
Life is innately designed in much the same way. There will always be bad mixed in with the good, but we have to learn to respect the journey as a whole, and be grateful.
I’m not perfect at looking at the world this way, but I feel stronger for the attempt.
#2: How do you stay rooted in your faith and deeper meaning?
I’m going to be very vulnerable with you for a moment. Faith is a soul-searching process for me, not a given.
I grew up learning about Jesus. I’ve always done “the checklist”. But, by virtue of that, I’ve never had “the moment”. Rather, my faith is a product of many small, but undeniable, moments. God has answered my prayers more times than I can count!
I know Jesus lives. I know He suffers when I suffer. And I know He has a plan.
Yet, in some ways, that belief is more faith than it is knowledge. That’s why they call it faith, right?
So, what I’m really asking is, how do you know that your faith with stand up to the test when the time comes? That you won’t dismiss it as merely wishful thinking?
How do you choose faith over fear?
Here’s to God answering our prayers through one another.