5 Steps to Embracing What Matters Most to You

First things first, I want to apologize!

It’s been a whirlwind of seasonal activities, traveling with over-stimulated, overtired, or sick kiddos, and many a project β€” with the end result of my not being able interact with you, or provide the quality of content I hope to offer, as much as I would truly like to do.

That said, I have also learned I need to be more conscious about setting healthy boundaries for myself in order to avoid overwhelm.

Today, I am sitting down to do just that, and I thought I would share the process with all of you. Because, as simple as it sounds, focusing on what matters most to you, requires knowing just what that is! β€” and, therefore, requires a certain amount of prep work.

#1: Name your roles.

Let’s start with a free-write exercise. Sit down, and for 2-3 minutes, jot down all of the roles you can think of that you currently fill and/or would like to fulfill someday. Here are mine:

  • Wife
  • Mama
  • Fulfilled, self-compassionate woman acting toward my personal purpose
  • Daughter of God & Follower of Christ
  • Podcaster
  • Blogger
  • Loving family member (Daughter, Sister, In-Law)
  • Genuine friend
  • Housekeeper
  • Pianist
  • Neighbor
  • Songwriter
  • Church-service provider
  • Giver
  • Learner
  • Teacher
  • Reader
  • Runner
  • Intuitive eater

#2: Now, pick your top 5.

Of this I want to say: A) You can change these at any time! It’s just about knowing what they are. And B) You won’t completely neglect all of the rest. These top 5 are simply going to be the 5 roles you put your A+ effort into.

Mine are:

  1. Daughter of God & Follower of Christ
  2. Wife
  3. Mama
  4. Fulfilled, self-compassionate woman acting toward my personal purpose
  5. Intuitive Eater

Here is my thought process:

These are all roles I fill on a daily or constant basis. They are not tied to a specific place or time. In fact, numbers 1-4 are the foundation for everything I do. Eventually, a new goal will take the place of number 5, but, right now, physical and mental health is a critical focus of mine.

I also “cheated” a little bit with number 4, because several of the other roles I listed fall under that umbrella: genuine friend, loving family member, runner, blogger, podcaster, and songwriter being the chief among them. These things truly fulfill me, and I need to have time for them in order to be my best self! But they may vary or rotate, so, ultimately, it’s about paying attention to what fills my tank.

#3: Make mini-goals for each of your top 5 roles.

For example:

  1. Daughter of God & Follower of Christ: Share 3 gratitudes in my evening prayers and read the scriptures every night with a question in mind. Act when prompted.
  2. Wife: Spend a minimum of 10-minutes quality time with my spouse each night, remembering to listen as well as communicate for any needs.
  3. Mama: Spend 10-minutes of one-on-one, unstructured time with each child, stick to our homeschool objectives, and practice positive parenting.
  4. Self: Do one thing every day outside of the other 4 roles, no time limit, as long as it truly fills my tank. Allow myself grace and self-compassion.
  5. Intuitive Eating: Pay attention to hunger/fullness, emotional well-being, listen to body cues, and eat regularly.

The trick to these is keeping it as short as possible… which you can see I did great at πŸ˜…… and hitting only the most important points.

#4: Make choices with your top 5 roles in mind.

Try to remember your top 5 roles at all times, and write down your mini-goals so that you can reference back to them. And, although we would all love to be perfect, it isn’t about hitting every goal every day.

Instead, practice making conscious decisions with your top 5 roles and mini-goals in mind β€” whether or not to accept an obligation, to go for a run, to try something new, to watch a movie with the kids, to spend or save money, to get takeout, to travel, to serve… Essentially:

**Integrate what matters most to you into your every day decisions.***

#5: What if my roles/goals conflict?

I am not an expert at this… So I would love to hear your thoughts as well. But here are a few ideas:

  1. First and foremost, give yourself some grace and self-compassion. Intentional living is not an overnight journey. It’s going to take a lot of trial and error to find the right balance between all of your varying roles and integrate them into one singular you. And then when you figure it out, they change! You change! You are constantly growing and adapting.
  2. Take a look at the underlying principles behind each of your roles. Once in a while you may be able to honor the principle, while not entirely meeting your ideal goal. And that’s okay!
  3. Take turns! Be willing to protect your time for each role. This is something I learned from The Mama Ladder (business coaching). When you protect time for both your kids and your business for example, each gets the best you have to offer. Alternatively, when you give 50% of yourself to each simultaneously, your tank empties faster, and you fulfill those roles less effectively. Now, sometimes, you will have to multi-task, but using time blocks where able and taking turns will help relieve some of the stress.

Some Announcements!

Hopefully this exercise in real-time was helpful to you! And, on a similar vein, I’d like to announce a few upcoming changes to the blog:

  1. I will be taking a two-week break for the holidays!!πŸŽ‰ I will sincerely miss each of you, but I wish you all a very Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, however you celebrate. May the kindness and purpose of the season permeate your homes ❀ .
  2. I will return on 12/31/19 with the launch of our new podcast!! I will bullet point it out for anyone unable to listen, and I hope it will be valuable for you, even though I know most of you aren’t podcasters.
  3. With that, I will be discontinuing my Monday and Wednesday posts, as the podcast will also highlight some of our favorite resources and day-to-day activities.
  4. I am going to do my best with this adjustment to make my Saturday posts as valuable for you as possible. I try to do that anyway, but overwhelm, right? So I think this will help. If you have anything you’d like to hear more about or any questions for us to ponder, feel free to let me know πŸ‘‡.
  5. Finally, I may not be able to comment as much as I wish I could. But I promise you that anything I “like” I will read in full and like as a way of acknowledging and thanking you for the value found therein (another thing I’ve been working on, but I am officially committing to today!)

I created a blog because I needed a hobby for myself. And it turned into this big, new, brave world that I love. I wanted to share how getting to know and love who I am has impacted me, to connect with others, and to contribute something of value to you. The podcast is really just an extension of that for me β€” plus my better half!

And with all of it, I want to thank you from my whole heart for being a part of that.

Here’s to living in more alignment with our personal purpose.

❀ Jenny

36 thoughts on “5 Steps to Embracing What Matters Most to You

  1. This is great. Yes, we need to set our goals and work with it. And time management with it is key!.

    Wow. Congrats on the podcast and have a great holiday. Merry Christmas and Happy new year in advance.

    Do have a great time off.
    See you soon. β€πŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great exercise right here, usually reserved for the first week of January in form of resolutions but I like how you did it towards the end of the year.

    Congratulations on your podcast and being so organized. I admire how you have laid out the plans for your blog so well.

    Enjoy your time away, will surely miss you! ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Pallavi ❀️. It helps me to have a plan. It’s when things don’t go according to plan that it gets me haha πŸ˜‰. I will miss you, too! Blessings to you and your family going into the new year πŸ’•.

      Like

  3. Great job Jenny, I applaud your commitment to living wholly (spirit, soul, and body) as you feel directed by the Lord. This is a great encouragement to your community. God bless the Furse family, and I look forward to your new format. Blessings in 2020 β™₯

    Liked by 1 person

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