At the end of March, Joe and I announced an early “Summer Break” for the podcast, which will return in July.
In place of extending that break to the writing I do here, I’m going to get a little less formal and a little more vulnerable with you, dear reader and friend, and write a weekly journal entry on Saturdays for the time being.
It takes a lot less forethought and planning, but provides an equal (or greater) amount of writing “therapy”, so to speak.
If you miss the old format (steps, tips, hacks, and practices) OR if you prefer the unfiltered, unedited me, you’ll have to let me know, and we can re-evaluate when the time comes 😉.
Either way, thank you for being here. I cherish our interactions and reading what you have to share, too. I’ve learned so much from my friends here, and I say literal prayers for many of you on a regular basis. Thank you for the love.
This month, I also began implementing a “monthly affirmation” on our Instagram page. We are hoping to continue this idea with the podcast and the blog when break is over.
April’s affirmation is: “I am not a lost cause.” – which seems fitting.
Yesterday, I scheduled an appointment with my old therapist.
I want the atmosphere in our home to be one of love and safety. I set the tone, and the tone I’ve been setting lately is one of stress, anger, exhaustion, and disconnection.
That is what I’m hoping to remedy.
There’s an audio course on positive parenting I’m saving up for, and I’ve been meditating and exercising, too. But all of the tools in the world will make little difference if I’m only treating the symptoms.
So. Therapy first. Wish me luck.
In the meantime, I’ve been practicing small moments of connection to make up for all of my crazy. The kids and I share morning snuggles, read books together, go for walks at their pace, and talk about the happy and the sad parts of our day before bedtime.
I’m also contemplating a break from social media. Whenever I feel mom guilt, it can usually be traced back to my presence there. The funny thing is, I’m incredibly intentional about who I follow. Since I got back on social media last year, I have designed a feed that fills my tank, rather than the reverse.
But, especially lately, I’m learning I need a healthy dose of authentic along with all of the optimism. It’s hard for me to hear so many people talking about making the most of the precious time we’ve been given with our families.
This song comes to mind:
It makes me feel ungrateful. Why am I not loving this more?
And yet, I do love being a wife and a mother. Probably more than anything else. I hold onto the good moments like the air I breathe. I just feel like I require more and more “me-time” to fill my cup these days. There has to be a leak!
Maybe my therapist can find it.
In other news, with all of the time off, my sweetheart has been making amazing progress with our yard. We have a fence! A hose! And, pretty soon, a garden!
We tried to make enough room for all of the early and late planting items that we’ll use, including my favorite vegetable: Bok Choy!
Bet you didn’t see that coming 😉
Here’s to breathing the fresh air (literally and figuratively). Yard work is good for the soul.