Each day, laptop and children permitting, I’ll share a prompt that’s been on my mind, and a few of my thoughts.
You are welcome to share your own perspective in the comments, or just journal it out!
What are my needs when it comes to validation, and what does healthy validation look like?
This week, I pulled an affirmation from my Daily Motivation Deck and read, “I am humble. I make a difference more than I declare my importance.”
Succinct and apt.
I often think about how to offer value, then mistakenly measure that value in accolades.
Why? Because validation and I have a tricky relationship!
Once in a while, Joe will return home to a long, vocal list of everything I accomplished that day. I don’t want to brag, but I need to know that I’m doing enough. And I want him to know it.
Whether I exercised, and I want to know I’m healthy, or I cleaned, and I want to know that I’m not lazy, I look to my to-do list to define my character.
I would hazard a guess this falls under “unhealthy” validation.
So, how do I meet my needs for empathy, understanding, and appreciation of what it looks like to be a stay-at-home-mom, but not determine my worth based on my productivity?
First, I’ve learned to ask for appreciation. Sometimes, we need reminders to cheer each other on; that doesn’t make it less valid.
But, more than that, I am learning to validate myself. What if I didn’t need to declare my importance to feel like I am enough?
I celebrate my successes and progress toward my goals, and trust my inherent enoughness along the way.
It’s another slow grow, but the doing is in the trying.
What does healthy validation look like to you?