Each day, laptop and children permitting, I’ll share a prompt that’s been on my mind, and a few of my thoughts.
You are welcome to share your own perspective in the comments, or just journal it out!
How do I feel about control? Is it something I need? When has letting go of control benefited me?
Yesterday’s prompt reminded me that control is often the culprit behind my anxiety.
Sometimes, we don’t listen to others because we want to control our side of the conversation, or their response. But, sometimes, we don’t listen to ourselves and our needs for the exact same reason. We can’t let go of control!
I have what my therapist calls “anticipation anxiety”. I’m a homebody to the max, and whenever something comes up that disrupts our normal routine, I constantly run through all of the what ifs.
Do I dare invite someone new over tonight? What about the pandemic? Would they think I’m a horrible person? Would it be awkward? Is it too short notice?
The appraiser will be here any minute. Will all of this cleaning even help? Will the dog be okay in her pen? What if I forget to mention something important? When will we hear back? What if the value of our home is less than we anticipated?
I’d love to bake some Christmas treats for the neighbors! What if they don’t turn out? Who should I take them to? What if someone feels left out? What if they aren’t home? What if they don’t eat nuts? Or sugar?
Exhausting? Welcome to anxiety.
But, do you notice a common factor?
I can’t control what the appraiser or the neighbor thinks. I can’t control someone else’s diet or feelings or schedule. Nor should I.
I have to learn to let it go.
Otherwise, not only do I spend two hours in bed each night trying to fall asleep, but I let my fears talk me out of something that could be really great.
Has your need for control ever kept you from an opportunity? Has letting go of control ever turned out for the better?
❤ Jenny
Story of my life Jenny! I’m getting better at letting go but it’s probably because I’ve alleviated as much stress as possible in order to work on control. You can’t control others, only yourself and how you feel, think and act.
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That’s true! I am a huge fan of doing my future self a favor. I can’t control everything, but I can work to alleviate stress by knowing what triggers me and creating habits that help. I’m sorry you struggle with this, too, but always glad to know I’m not alone ❤️.
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Hmm… sounds familiar…
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It’s an ongoing battle!
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Need for control has prevented me from doing things many times. I don’t like the unknown (which is also why I’ll never be a gambler), so it’s hard for me to jump into something, not knowing the outcome. I still take risks, but they are calculated risks.
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I know all about calculated risks only! My husband describes my personality as “low in openness” haha. Change and the unknown are both so hard.
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